ONE STEP AT A TIME

A PRISONER WITHIN

2011-12-26T14:53:00.002-06:00

Emotions that are trapped inside
handcuffed to my own soul
trying to find a life to live
a life that others stole

Fears that are locked away
wishing I could find the key
to unlock all this pain
so that I could one day be free

I feel like I'm a prisoner
punished for a crime I didn't do
trapped inside this prison cell
just wishing I could break through

I'm the one serving a life's sentence
struggling to find a way out
confined within these walls
as silence falls on every shout

TO MUCH WEIGHT

2011-08-27T15:35:00.002-05:00

This weight I can no longer carry
for my shoulders are hurting more and more
as it continues to weigh me down
I feel like I'm losing the war

I can no longer do this
alone, by myself, everyday
I've tried to fight and stay hopeful
but it seems like there's just no way

I'm only human
there's only so much I can take
I've tried to keep it together
instead, I feel like I'm about to break

JIGSAW PUZZLE

2011-07-10T16:47:00.002-05:00

My life is like a puzzle
one big jumbled up mess
so man pieces all in a pile
could be more, could be less

Pieces that are missing
some that are ripped or torn
others turned upside down
or some that are badly worn

Pieces that are lost
some that I can't seem to find
ones that don't quite fit
others that need to be realigned

FATHERS DAY

2011-06-19T09:15:00.002-05:00

This is NOT an original poem from me...I seen it on another site and just loved it!

If red roses grow in Heaven
Lord pick a bunch for me
Place them in my Dad's arms
And tell him they're from me

Tell him that I love & miss him
And when he turns to smile
Place a kiss upon his cheek
And hold him for a while

Because remembering him is easy
I do it everyday
there's an ache within my heart
That will never go away

I love you!. ~ Happy Father's Day, Dad

UNWANTED FEELINGS

2011-05-27T21:43:00.003-05:00

A heart that's so big
and once was so strong
now is becoming frail
feeling like it won't be long

Feeling my life is in a bottle
as time is slipping away
like the sand in an hourglass
slowly running out each day

My body just trembles
and tears continue to flow
all my bottled up emotions
and unwanted thoughts continue to grow

Wishing I could release my feelings
instead of locking them inside
if only I had someone to listen
someone who I could confide

Feeling like I'm next in line
for history is not on my side
I feared this time would come
feeling like my hands are tied

MORE QUOTES

2011-05-27T18:10:00.002-05:00

"The person you destroy with your words today may be the person you miss tomorrow".....unknown

"You have to give your heart a reason to keep beating. It seems so simple. But if you don't have passion, if you don't have vision, if you don't have something that brings you joy day in and day out, then nothing else makes a difference"...Dr Oz

"Others are so used to living with painful feelings--lonliness, fear, guilt--that it never occurs to them to ask for help in dealing with these things. Still others get so preoccupied with their struggles that they forget I'm even here. There are hurting parts of you that I desire to heal. However, some of them have been with you so long that you consider them part of your identity. You carry them with you wherever you go, with little awareness."....Jesus Lives

"With each new person you meet, you are being told something about your purpose in life and what you are here to learn"....James VanPraagh

NEED TO GET AWAY

2011-04-18T17:49:00.002-05:00

Unable to breathe
feeling confined
needing to get away
feel like I'm losing my mind

Feeling like I'm suffocating
in this boring ole town
Feeling completely trapped
about ready to drown

Just somewhere I would like to go
but to afraid to travel on my own
what would I do by myself
so fearful of the unknown

East coast west coast
mountains or hills
theme parks or beaches
just the thought gives me chills

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

2011-03-29T17:53:00.003-05:00

Why am I always being judged
by the way I look on the outside
more and more I get discouraged
always feeling I'm continually denied

Why do I feel like I fail
at everything I try to do
nothing ever seems to go right
feeling like I don't have a clue

Why do I feel unloved
so empty on the inside
I have so much love to give
but no one to go along for the ride

What am I doing wrong in life
for me to continue to feel this way
please, someone help set me free
help me take this pain away

RANDOM QUOTES

2011-03-16T14:01:00.006-05:00

"You are given the people you need in your life, not the people you want"...unknown

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you"...Jesus Calling

"We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life"...James VanPraagh

"Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage Someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal and not wound. Today will never come again."...unknown

DAD

2011-03-10T15:47:00.002-06:00

The day has come again
when you were taken away
wishing I could turn back the clock
and delete that devastating day

This day of the year
is always so hard for me
wishing you were still here
instead of just your memory

It doesn't seem to get any easier
the emptiness I feel inside
the sadness in my heart
or the river that I have cried

It's been eighteen years
but it seems like only yesterday
and even though you are gone
I still think of you in every way

A NEW SENSE OF HOPE

2011-02-27T16:23:00.007-06:00

As I look back
on the last few years
all my life consisted of
was sadness and tears

My life was like a candle
with it's flame slowly burning out
melted wax flowed down the sides like tears
as my life seem to be clearly in doubt

But change has come upon me
for I now have a new sense of hope
I have a new vision on life
one that I feel like I can now cope

I'm starting to be able to see
that little bit of light
the one at the end of the tunnel
it's becoming a little more bright

I know I still have a ways to go
and issues that I still need to work on
things that I need to understand and learn
but I'm determined to finish strong

SADDENED ANNIVERSARY

2011-02-25T16:40:00.002-06:00

Another year is fast approaching
an anniversary I wish I could forget
a time that I wish had never happened
a moment I will always regret

Not a day goes by
that I don't reminisce
just wishing we had more time
your presence I truly miss

I only have a few pictures of you
and some memories within
wishing I could see you once more
the sadness continues to win

I know I can't bring you back
but I know I'll see you again someday
I will continue to think of you always
my memories of you will never fade away

THOSE THREE WORDS

2011-02-14T16:15:00.005-06:00

Just once....I'd like to hear someone tell me.....

THE SCREAM

2011-02-06T17:21:00.002-06:00

Noises can be heard everywhere
its those certain sounds that stay with you
the ones you never want to here again
the ones you want to become deaf to

You can hear those sounds in your thoughts
for they are never more so clear
the ones that you never forget
or the one you will always continue to fear

It still sends chills down my spine
every time I hear a scream
I wish it would just go away
really wishing it was all a dream

No matter how hard you try
even after so many years
it continues to haunt me
it still brings me to tears

BOOK OF LIFE

2011-02-05T18:11:00.003-06:00

Life is like a book
it has both a beginning and an end
it's the pages in between
that you must try to comprehend

A book has chapters
and so does our lives
dividing our life story
as we live each day as it arrives

Each chapter is a new start
and each challenge we must face
whether it be happy or sad
we must continue to willingly embrace

LOST

2010-12-04T16:39:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling so lost and confused
and I don't know what else to do
all my struggles and downfalls
I continually tried to push through

Where do I go from here
for I now have no clue
I'm trying to keep hope alive
and continue to fight through

I've tried and I've tried
but feel like I'm on the outside looking in
at a world that I feel I'm not a part of
one that leaves me feeling very alone within

VOICELESS

2010-12-04T10:48:00.005-06:00

I'm feeling silenced lately
with the things I want to say
knowing I'm being watched
by someone I'm around almost everyday

CLOUDED MIND

2010-10-11T18:07:00.004-05:00

All these troubled thoughts
are clouding my mind
so many things I want to say
seem to be locked up and confined

All these feelings
that are bottling up inside
emotions that keep manifesting
makes we want to run and hide

Wishing I had someone to talk to
someone who would just lend an ear
help free me from this stress
so that all the sadness could just disappear

LIFE IS ABOUT...

2010-10-11T17:37:00.003-05:00

So many people believe that their lives
are measured by their accomplishments
or their success...instead...

Life is about helping others
by reaching out your hand
when they have fallen

Life is about believing
not only in what we can do
but believing in who we are

Life is about forgiveness
not only forgiving others
but forgiving ourselves

Life is about opening your heart
and letting others in
instead of shutting others out

and.....

Life is about learning
not only from our own mistakes
but from the mistakes of others!

MY BIGGEST FEAR

2010-08-23T13:38:00.001-05:00

As each new day arrives
we age and continue to grow old
as the time passes us by
my biggest fear is continuing to unfold

It's not the fear of death
nor the fear of snakes
it's not the fear of heights
or the sounds the severe winds make

This feeling that I feel
hurts so deeply inside
it follows me where ever I go
wondering if someone will ever be by my side

As each day comes to an end
I start to lose more hope
as I continue down this road
wondering how will I ever begin to cope

HIGH EXPECTATIONS

2010-08-19T16:02:00.006-05:00

I always wonder why my expectations of myself are always so high. Why is it that I feel that everything I do is never good enough or never will be good enough, no matter how hard I try and push myself to succeed in life? Where did I learn this from? Will the goals I have set to better myself or even succeeded at, ever be good enough? Will I ever be a good enough person for someone to call me their friend? What about my caring and giving ways or my values and beliefs...are they good enough? I even wonder if the poems I write are even good enough...or am I just writing words? Why do I put so much pressure on myself? So many why's...but no answers. Is this why I always feel like I'm a failure at everything? Is this why I feel like I can't seem to move forward?

BEAUTY

2010-08-08T18:13:00.005-05:00

A rose with many colors
so beautiful when they bloom
there petals feel like soft velvet
and they smell of sweet perfume

A sunset off in the distance
brightens up the evening sky
like a painting on a canvas
so beautiful to the human eye

A lazy river that flows
to a distance unknown
the soothing sounds of the ripples
as it hits every rock and stone

Remember to take a look around
for sometimes we forget to see
how much God's beauty surrounds us
and his creation to thee

HIS PRESENCE

2010-08-07T08:09:00.006-05:00

One very early morning a couple of weeks ago, as I was heading to work, I was coming upon an intersection when my headlights peered on a deer walking slowly down the street. I continued to keep my eyes focused on him as I got to the intersection. When I got to the intersection, that deer was about 10 yards past me. When all of a sudden that deer stopped walking and turned it's head around (only it's head)and looked at me. He looked at me for a full 2 seconds then turned his head back around and just nonchalantly kept walking. He didn't run or act like he was scared or anything. As I turned the corner and continued on my way to work, I got goosebumps and started to cry....just knowing....

The ironic part of this incident, is that just before I left work that morning I was feeling very sad, alone, and wondering if I would even get through work that day. So as I sat in the dark on my couch getting ready to leave, I asked Jesus to "please open my eyes and let me see your presence..let me know your with me". And he did!!...through what I consider to be one of the most beautiful animals there is. And another thing...this isn't the first time HE has given me signs through a deer.

A NEW BEGINNING

2010-07-31T09:28:00.002-05:00

They say time heals all wounds
for I've had my fair share
not only the one's I've received
but to those I've hurt beyond repair

I had to take some time
and completely walk away
to sort out many feelings and emotions
that continued to bother me every day

I needed to find a different path in life
to decide with road to choose
the one that's best for me
instead of the one in others' views

I digged down deep in my soul
and I found my spiritual guide
your presence that you have given me
gives me strength to no longer run and hide

SILENCE

2010-06-06T08:50:00.003-05:00

Inside these four walls
is a sound I hate
the sound of silence
is becoming ever so great

A doorbell than never chimes
a phone that seldom rings
no sounds of communication
and Coco....who no longer sings

All I hear
is the clock ticking on the wall
or the sound of myself crying
as my tears continue to fall

This silence is getting to me
for each day is becoming harder to cope
the sound of silence is deafening
I sometimes wonder if there really is hope.

MISS YOU SO MUCH

2010-05-29T19:44:00.004-05:00

I feel so empty
with this void in my heart
as it continues to grow
the more it's tearing me apart

You left me too soon
for I never had a chance to say goodbye
I know it seems kind of silly
but all I want to do is cry

You weren't just my pet
you were like one of my own
you acted like a real person
now I feel even more alone

I miss hearing you call me "mommy"
I catch myself calling out your name
The silence hurts so much
It's not going to be the same

RIP COCO

2010-05-28T16:44:00.003-05:00

What was suppose to be a happy day (birthday), turned into a
very emotional and heartbreaking day cause I had to unexpectedly say goodbye to one of "my kids". She wasn't "just a bird", she was my companion. One who I could talk to and who would talk to me back. She was one who would always cuddle with me and actually call me "mommy". I miss you so much already Coco!!

LIFE WITHOUT....

2010-05-25T12:49:00.003-05:00

Life without happiness
is always wanting to cry
feeling you have no purpose
no matter how hard you try

Life without a friend
is feeling left behind
feeling like you've been forgotten
or even confined

Life without feeling loved
is a heart broken in two
a fragile piece of glass
shattered all the way through!

LOST IN A WORLD OF MY OWN

2010-05-15T14:05:00.002-05:00

I'm starting to feel scared
with my feelings I feel inside
giving up on everything I've done
feeling like it's the end of my ride

Struggling to find my way
feeling I'm at the end of my rope
pain, lonliness and emptiness everyday
I just can't seem to cope

Lost in a world of my own
with no where to go
my spirits are low from sadness
and a broken heart and a lost soul

As my tears continue to fall
I lose the will to fight
My body starts to shake
wondering if I'll ever see light.

WHY DO I PUSH OTHERS AWAY

2010-05-11T18:56:00.003-05:00

Why do I continue
to push people away
everyone I care about
always ends up going astray

So afraid to open up my heart
and let others come in
my hope of never being alone
is growing very very thin

Family, friends, or partners
it doesn't matter who they are
I always end up shutting them out
leaving me with an emotional scar

Tired of being hurt
Always feeling rejected
afraid to show my love
always feeling disconnected!

FOR MY FRIEND

2010-05-08T20:33:00.004-05:00

Everyday I think about you
as I continue to pray
I know the waiting can be very hard
you have to believe it will be okay

Everything around you
seems so dark and unclear
I know you are scared and stressed
And your emotions are full of fear

Wish there was a way I could help you
if only there was something I could do
All you want me to do is pray
I know God will help you through

You have a lot of love around you
a lot of friends who care
You are in everyones thoughts
and you are surrounded by lots of prayers

LOSING HOPE

2010-05-04T17:10:00.003-05:00

On this beautiful sunny day
I curl up in my bed
tears running down my cheeks
as I pull the covers over my head

Can't fight the loneliness
tired of all the pain
the tears are falling now
as if it were rain

Feelings of failure
thinking I'm never going to win
afraid of getting close to others
any hope I had is growing thin

I'm ready to give up
for my spirits are so low
don't have much fight left in me
.....I just don't know!

EXISTENCE

2010-04-21T16:20:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like you are "just existing" in life...but at the same time you also feel "non-existent"? I do....and I've been feeling like this quite a bit lately.

ONE.....

2010-04-20T16:24:00.001-05:00

I seen this quote on another site:

"1 song can spark a moment, 1 tree can start a forest, 1 star can guide a ship at sea and 1 life can make a difference"

EVERYONE NEEDS.....

2010-04-17T21:44:00.003-05:00

Everyone needs praise
to be able to succeed
to make them feel important
so they can continue to achieve

Everyone needs encouragement
when hopelessness fills their heart
when their lives go astray
or when their world is torn apart

Everyone needs to feel loved
instead of always feeling empty inside
Feeling like they have no one
who will be by their side

Everyone needs a friend
for encouragement and praise
feeling that they are loved
even through their stormy days

PAIN

2010-04-03T16:55:00.003-05:00

I wake up every morning
feeling the same way
wondering if this pain
will ever go away

Toes that won't wiggle
knees that can't bend
feeling depressed and frustrated
wondering will it ever end

Joints constantly swollen
muscles that always ache
always tired and fatigued
how much more can I take

I feel so close to giving up
starting to feel defeated
wondering how much longer I can fight
I feel so depleated!

TRUST HIM

2010-04-03T16:52:00.001-05:00

"Suffering is part of the human condition, and it comes to us all. The key is how we react to it, either turning away from God in anger and bitterness or growing closer to Him in trust and confidence"--unknown.

ANOTHER YEAR

2010-02-26T21:03:00.003-06:00

As another year approaches
tears continue to be shed
my heart continues to break
thinking of the life you could have led

I've tried to stay strong
but I feel very weak
I feel like I'm falling apart
as tears continue down my cheek

I think about you each day
as this hole in my heart continues to grow
wondering why you left me so soon
why did you have to go

As each day goes by
I miss you so so much
I know you are with me
for I can feel the presence of your touch

WINTER TIME

2010-02-06T13:41:00.002-06:00

Winter time can be so beautiful. This is a picture of some freezing fog that was on a blade of grass.

HAITI

2010-01-16T16:33:00.000-06:00

So many sad and dark images
That continue to make me cry
A country so devastated
You keep asking why

A country in ruins
Families torn apart
Kids that have become orphans
It really breaks my heart

All the innocent people
Who had their last dance
All the precious children
Who didn’t even have a chance

Videos of a child’s doll
So ragged and torn
Being pulled out of the rubble
As the tears fall I continue to mourn

Feeling so helpless
My heart continues to break
Wishing there was something I could do
To help during this awful quake

REALITY

2010-01-16T09:28:00.003-06:00

Why does it seem like I’m always living in a fantasy world?
Everything seems so unreal to me….people, places, events that
I see on tv or computer....all seem like they are not real. I feel like I
have no sense of what reality is. Why is that?

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010-01-01T10:42:00.001-06:00

Here's wishing everyone
a happy, healthy and
joyous 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-24T16:47:00.003-06:00

There's a certain kind of magic
that happens this time of year
time to get together and celebrate
with those so close and dear

Life's biggest moments and treasures
are found in the one's we love
the many blessings and miracles
that came from the man above

The real meaning of Christmas
is not what's under the tree
but the love that comes from the heart
the caring and sharing all comes free

Please remember those less fortunate
as we celebrate this joyous time of year
And remember our troops over yonder
as they are kept from loved ones so dear

To all the families around the world
I'm wishing you all happiness and good cheer
Enjoy your special time with those you love
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

LOST IN EMOTION

2009-12-20T12:26:00.001-06:00

Many times I try to write
And understand the way that I feel
But there’s always something around me
That just seems so unreal

My mind always feels lost
Like I’m constantly in a fog
Struggling to find words to say
Even to write in my own blog

Feeling like I’m drowning
In a sea of emotions
Almost as if I’m going under
In the middle of the ocean

Feeling so overwhelmed
I’m constantly in a daze
I feel so lost in life
I can’t seem to get out of this maze

THANKSGIVING DAY

2009-11-26T06:34:00.001-06:00

Our Father up above
Please lend me your ear
I’m saying a prayer to you
That I really want you to hear

I’m not asking for anything
On this Thanksgiving day
I just want to give thanks
To all the blessings you’ve brought my way

Thank you for the family
You have chosen for me
I couldn’t have asked for better
They are all so wonderful and carefree

For the people you’ve brought into my life
To encourage, teach and give support
You’ve brought them to me for a reason
So that I won’t give up and fall short

Thank you for forgiving me
When I have done wrong
For I have forgiven myself
As I continue to move on

So as I bow my head and pray
Thank you for letting me be on of your own
As I continue through life
I know now I will never be alone

I PRAY

2009-11-23T19:18:00.000-06:00

When I feel hopeless
Or feeling so alone
Searching for the help I need
Always feeling like I’m on my own

This journey I HAVE to succeed
For this is the only way
This is my only chance at life
As I continue to pray

I pray for encouragement
I pray for support
I pray for someone to listen
Cause life is getting to short

I want to change the way I am
But sometimes I feel like I tend to stray
Don’t know which path to take
I need help along the way

LOSING HOPE

2009-10-25T14:56:00.002-05:00

I keep trying to fight
And continue to remain strong
Each day gets harder and harder
I wish I was wrong

All the emotional scars
I can’t seem to get past
To many years of holding in
Depression is setting in fast

Wondering if I can even be helped
I can’t continue to do this alone
Wanting to give up on life
The towel about to be thrown

Each day seems to get worse
It’s been hard to cope
For each day is now a struggle
I feel like I’m losing all hope

I WANT.......

2009-10-11T11:57:00.001-05:00

I want to open up my heart
And let people in
To give them a chance
To prove that I won’t be hurt again

I want to be able to laugh
Each and every day
To be able to see the sunshine
Instead of all the grey

I want to smile
Instead of frown
Don’t want to hide behind a mask
Like that of a clown

I want someone to just listen
To feel that I am heard
Instead of being timed and on the clock
Having only forty five minutes is so absurd

I want to receive affection
Through the warmth of a hug
Wandering what it feels like
Instead of feeling like I’ve been thrown under a rug

I want to have a voice
Instead of feeling hushed
Be able to express how I feel
Without always feeling crushed

I want to never give up hope
But sometimes it is so hard to do
I’ll just keep on praying
Maybe one day these will all come true

NO VOICE

2009-10-06T17:58:00.000-05:00

So many thoughts
running through my head
So many things I want to say
But always seem to go unsaid

Wishing I could say what’s on my mind
My opinions I’m afraid to say
Fear of what others will think
Worried they will take it the wrong way

Will I always be silenced
Will I ever find the courage to speak
Be able to express myself
Without feeling so weak

EYES

2009-09-29T17:41:00.001-05:00

They say that looking into the eyes
of others are the windows to their soul.
How can I see other peoples souls
when I can’t even see my own!

SILENCED

2009-09-24T17:38:00.000-05:00

Feelings I can’t express
Emotions stay bottled inside
Words I want to say
But feeling like my hands are tied

Feeling like I’ve been silenced
My outlet taken away
Afraid of what others will think
So many things I feel I can’t say

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS

2009-09-09T22:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever sat outside
And enjoyed the evening sights
Or listened to all the sounds
That take place during the night

In the dark sky above
Stars are twinkling so bright
A plane moves across the sky
With it’s red blinking light

A cool spring breeze
Blowing through my hair
As I look toward the heavens
To say a single prayer

Crickets chirping close by
Locusts shrieking in the distance
Makes you wonder
The reason behind their existence

The moon lighting up the horizon
Street lights glowing on the street
As I close my eyes and take it in
This night couldn’t be more complete

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

2009-09-01T15:02:00.002-05:00

So many years I have wasted
Not knowing you were by my side
Feeling like I was always on my own
When you have always been my guide

It took me so long to let you in
As I reach for your hand
You pull me in closer
For no longer alone will I stand

So many hard times I have had
Many times my heart was ripped and torn
There will be no more doubt
Cause I know you will get me through the storm

So please forgive me Lord
As I’m trusting you to show me the way
As I try to make up the time I missed
For each day I will continue to pray!

I WON'T BE A VICTIM

2009-08-26T18:26:00.002-05:00

I wrote this for a friend who's daughter is having problems in Middle school. She is constantly being bullied from classmates. For you Ellie!

Why do you say the things you do
For I hate the way you make me feel
Inside I always want to hide
For this just seams so unreal

You make me feel weak
You make me feel so alone
All the pain has come out
Through the tears I have shown

Well no more will I let you bring me down
For I have the strength and will to fight
Family and friends are all that I need
To know that everything will be alright

I will make it through this
Cause things happen for a reason they say
For GOD believes in me
And he will take my hand and lead the way

CHOICES

2009-07-24T19:12:00.002-05:00

Life can be very hard
and it can bring you down
but life is to short
to be falling toward the ground

We can be happy or we can be sad
we can learn or we can fail
each day is a choice that we make
it's up to us to prevail

We all have regrets in life
and we all make mistakes
but life is that journey
we have to do whatever it takes

So be happy for the moment
for that moment is our lives
you make it what you want it to be
it's time to seize the day and strive

DON'T WANT TO CRY ANYMORE

2009-07-12T18:54:00.001-05:00

Why am I scared of my own emotions
So many times they stay bottled up inside
Afraid to let them out
It’s so hard for me to confide

Is it guilt, failure, embarrasment or weakness
I honestly don’t know why
No matter how much I want to speak
I can never talk without that dry eye

Tears run down my face
When I try to get the feelings out
I don’t want anyone to see me cry
But when I do I end up having self doubt

I want so badly to have a shoulder to cry on
Somebody who won’t make fun of me
A friend I can talk face to face with
A person who will help set me free

INDEPENDENCE DAY

2009-07-03T18:24:00.003-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA

Here's to celebrating your 233rd birthday celebration.

Thank you for this beautiful country we live in and for the freedom
we celebrate each and every day.

I BELIEVE

2009-06-25T16:11:00.005-05:00

For so many years
Life has passed me by
Always hidden from the world
To many times I was scared to try

I let fear run my life
Afraid of the unknown
Not being able to face those fears
Left me scared and feeling all alone

But now I’m seeing a different light
Shining from the heavens above
A hand reaches to pull me out
One that can only be God’s love

Feeling like I was drowning
In that ocean of fears
My hand is reaching back
As I cry lots of happy tears

FATHERS DAY

2009-06-20T20:57:00.002-05:00

Today is a special day
That comes but once a year
A time so sad in my heart
A day that I shed many a tear

Constant memories run through my mind
A time that I have to mourn again
Life can be so unfair
I keep wondering what could have been

I know your in the heavens above
I truly miss you a lot
I know your happy up there
It makes me cry even at the thought

For one day I will see you again
But for now all I can do is smile and say
I truly love you so very much
Happy fathers day

CHANGE

2009-06-11T15:15:00.003-05:00

I know this will be difficult
It’s time for my life to be rearranged
Stuck in my own familiar ways
It’s time to prepare myself for change

I’m a bit confused and a little lost
Tired of feeling sad and low
I know I can change for the better
I just need to take it nice and slow

Change is scary and unfamiliar to me
Sounds like I’m coming out of the blue
I want to be able to stand up
And find that person I never knew

So with the help from my friends
And the determination inside
It’s time to bury the old
To make that change and not be denied

STORMY TIMES

2009-06-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

On a warm spring afternoon
The blue sky starts to turn grey
The clouds start to fill the sky
And form in their own little way

As the gentle breeze
Turns into gusts of wind
Blowing through the trees
A storm is about to begin

Lightning bolts across the horizon
Flashes of white light up the sky
Sounds of thunder rumble up above
As it rattles my soul in the blink of an eye

Rain starts to pour from the sky
Like tears running down my cheeks
As it washes away all my sadness
Happier times I shall seek

BEAUTY

2009-06-07T10:33:00.001-05:00

So many times you hear the saying about people hiding
behind a mask. Why do I feel like I have to put
that mask on? They say that beauty is not in the face
but more in the heart. I have so much inner
beauty, but why do I still feel like the ugly duckling.

MY PRAYER

2009-05-28T17:02:00.005-05:00

As most of you know, recently my mom was diagnosed with cancer. She has chronic lymphonic (sp?) lukemia--but we don't know which T-cell it has affected yet. All I know is that it is a rare cancer in the blood.

It’s eating me up inside
This pain in my heart
I’m trying to be strong
But it’s tearing me apart

I’m taking it day by day
I keep wondering why
Trying to stay positive
But so many tears I want to cry

I’m down on my knees
With tears filling my eyes
My hands folded together
Looking up towards the sky

I continue to have hope
And I pray each and every day
Lord give her the strength
To fight this every step of the way

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

2009-05-26T14:39:00.003-05:00

Sometimes life is taken for granted
Here today and gone tomorrow
Sometimes filled with happiness and joy
Other times filled with sadness and sorrow

Life is like a candle
That burns each and every day
Till that gust of wind
Blows the flame out all the way

Life is to short
I’m sure we can all say
We take those words for granted
Until it happens to one of us along the way
　
Live life to the fullest
It can be over in a blink of an eye
Savior each and every moment
You never know when time will pass you by

MEMORIAL DAY

2009-05-24T16:27:00.004-05:00

Today is a day we celebrate those who fought for our
country and those who died for our freedom.
A day to honor our fallen heroes who gave us

the right to be free.
So lets remember what they were fighting for

As we continue to honor and remember them.

Thank You all!!!

NEVER GIVE UP

2009-05-20T14:37:00.001-05:00

It’s been over a year ago
Always feeling sad and blue
So many ups and downs
I didn’t know what to do

I wanted to give up on life
For so many times I would cry
I felt I had no purpose here
In my heart I wanted to die

I felt all hope was lost
For I had no dreams
I didn’t have no where to go
For life wasn’t all that it seems

Then God sent me angels from above
To guide and help me through
One’s who believed in me
And told me there was nothing I couldn’t do

Friends who brought the sun back into my days
And showed me that life is worth living
Now I can do what I was meant to do
To give back by caring and giving

So as I move forward
Even when the times will get tough
I will NEVER give up anymore
No matter how much the road gets rough

MY FRIENDS

2009-05-14T14:48:00.001-05:00

When I felt sad and down
And the whole world seemed dark
You were there to lift me up
And give me that certain spark

You’re a gift from God
An angel from above
You are truly very special
With a heart full of love

You’re my continued inspiration
To never give up and keep moving on
For you mean the world to me
The world is your beautiful song

Even when others did
You didn’t give up on me and leave
You are true to your word
And I continue to believe

You are truly a special friend to me
And no one will ever take your place
My only hope and dream
Is to one day meet you face to face

MOTHERS DAY

2009-05-09T13:17:00.003-05:00

Today is a very special day
For it is all about you
You are truly a wonderful woman
In everything that you do

I am thankful for everything you’ve done for me
And for making me who I am today

For you taught me how to care about others
And you showed me true beauty along the way

You taught me to look for the best in all
While being the best I can be

To love with a full heart
In everything that is true to me

You gave me the wings to fly
And the courage to go my way
You truly have the gift of a mothers love
Happy Mothers Day

STRESS

2009-05-04T19:01:00.001-05:00

Why is there so much stress in life
So many feelings that are bottled up inside
But don’t know how to express them.
So many things in my life I wish
I could go back and change
So much pressure at times
that I wish I could wake up
and it would all be a dream.
My life I wish I could understand why
Always questioning and blaming myself
For things that happened
Confused with my own emotions
And so many fears to overcome
Always worrying about the little things
That I have no control of
Why so much stress?

MY ANGEL ABOVE

2009-05-02T07:35:00.001-05:00

Up in heaven is an angel
Who is a part of me
His time here on earth
Was very short and carefree

I so wish I had more time with him
But God needed him more
I know he is watching me
Like many times before

As he sends his whispers of love
Through the clouds in the sky
Through the voices in the wind
My angel is Gods messenger on high

The message is so clear
For I know he is in a better place
When I look in the mirror
I see him in my own face

MUSIC

2009-04-30T18:00:00.001-05:00

Dawn breaks and the birds are whistling
The sound of wind rustling through the trees
Hummingbirds humming there own little tune
Inside everyone is there own special song

If you are very still and calm
You will hear a song of hope
The words of wisdom
The music in your dreams
A song of peace
And a song of life

If you listen very carefully
Your song will lead you down the path
That you can call your own

So take the time to listen to the song
Of your heart and soul
And see where it leads you.

SADNESS

2009-04-23T18:12:00.002-05:00

The sun rises in the east
with its bright and colorful hello
buy why do my eyes
never see the beautiful glow

I see the many birds
soaring in the sky above me
just wondering if
I to will ever be free

I stare at the stars
in the nights sky
wondering where has the twinkling
gone from my own eye

Will I ever find the strength
that I am longing for
to be able to live life
and have sadness no more.

WHERE HAS TIME GONE

2009-04-21T19:20:00.002-05:00

Why does my life seem so meaningless?
As I’m approaching 40 I feel like I have
Nothing to show for it.
I feel like I have been trapped in time and have
Never been able to move on forward.
What have I done right in life
And what have I done wrong?
I don’t have many memories of happiness
Only tears, lonliness and fears.
So much abandonment and rejection
Wishing I had more friends.
I feel such emptiness in my heart
With so much love to give.
I just feel like so much darkness
Is blocking out the sun.
Where has my life gone?

SUNSET

2009-04-20T16:37:00.002-05:00

As the sun sets in the horizon
another day comes to an end
The beautiful colors in the evening sky
continues to blend.

As the sun sets behind the trees
and the shadows increase
the warmth of the day
begins to cease

As the sun slowly falls
And the evening turns to night
the moon begins to rise
to everyone's delight

The stars begin to appear
to brighten up the sky
its time to make a wish
for another day has passed by.

Becky

FEELING GOOD

2009-04-18T11:26:00.005-05:00

A beautiful blue sky
and not a cloud in site
A gentle cool breeze
blowing through my hair
The grass is starting to turn green
and the trees are starting to bloom
Today I am a new person
feeling happy and content
Full of energy and full of life
Determined that nothing will bring me down

MY FRIENDS

2009-04-17T18:02:00.001-05:00

I cannot explain
exactly how I feel
you are a friend
so wonderful and so real

You've touched my life
in a very special way
through your caring words
in everything that you say

You've lifted me up
when I was down
you've turned my face into a smile
when all I could do was frown

You've given me hope
and taught me to believe
for you have a heart of gold
that means the world to me.

Becky

DETERMINED

2009-04-16T15:34:00.001-05:00

As I look at the long road ahead
a new fire burns in my eyes
For I refuse to go backwards
and live that life full of cries

My life is to precious
and my heart is full of gold
As I look toward the deep blue sky
I find the courage to go down that road

For its time to spread my wings
No longer quiet and shy
To many years of hurt and pain
Determined that this time I will fly

Becky

WANTING TO BE FREE

2009-04-15T17:31:00.001-05:00

LIFE

2009-04-14T18:33:00.005-05:00

The last couple of days I have been struggling with my emotions quite a bit about certain feelings I have been feeling. I feel like I have been on a huge rollercoaster ride. One minute I am extremely upbeat and feeling positive about my new way of grasping life and trying to change through learning. The next minute I am crying profusely because of the lonliness, abandonment and sadness that I am constantly feeling, wandering if there is ever hope for me to be able to be happy and learn to live life the way its suppose to be. I am even starting to doubt myself at times. I came across this saying that got me thinking and made me a little more hopeful....

LIFE
isn't about waiting
for the storm to pass.....
it's about learning to
dance in the rain.

Becky

SUNSET

2009-04-13T16:55:00.003-05:00

As the sun sets in the horizon
another day comes to an end
The beautiful colors in the evening sky
continues to blend.

As the sun sets behind the trees
and the shadows increase
the warmth of the day
begins to cease

As the sun slowly falls
And the evening turns to night
the moon begins to rise
to everyone's delight

The stars begin to appear
to brighten up the sky
its time to make a wish
for another day has passed by

Becky

BE THANKFUL

2009-04-12T12:24:00.002-05:00

Sometimes we take things for granted to much in life that we never stop to think of all the things we are thankful for. Be thankful for everything that comes your way. Be thankful for the difficult and hard times that we endure, for these times will help you grow. Be thankful for our mistakes we make in life, for they continue to teach us valuable lessons. Be thankful for the people in your life, cause you will never know when they will be gone. Be thankful when your tired and worn down, cause you just may not realize who’s life you have touched. Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring or what the future will hold, so be thankful for everyday as if it were your last.

MY GUARDIAN ANGEL

2009-04-11T09:43:00.000-05:00

A message is being sent from above
that someone is watching over me
its written in the form of the clouds
and in the stars that I see

The messages they are sending
are loud and clear
in the sights through my eyes
and the sounds that I hear

Follow your heart
the voices always say
as the wind blows through the trees
I hear these words everyday

The clouds form a picture
for the message is clear
telling me to believe in myself
and cry no more tears

Becky

WHY

2009-04-10T15:19:00.000-05:00

Why can't I find the strength
that I am longing for
to be able to move on in life
and have pain no more

Why does this lonliness
seem to be my best friend
wishing it would go away
just wishing it would end

Why does my heart
continue to ache so much
shattered, broken and torn
and tender to the touch

Why do my watery eyes
continue to shed these tears
from all this sadness
and all of my fears

Why Why Why
is all that I ask
all of my emotions
hiding behind a mask

Becky

LIFE'S JOURNEY

2009-04-09T13:26:00.001-05:00

Life is a journey
we all must live by
From the day we are born
to the day that we die

For some life is a struggle
for others it is a blast
Having to face the future
regardless of the past

Happiness for many
fear for some
The path we take
is a road to come

Many emotions we all have
feelings of sorrow and tears
feelings of happiness and joy
and don't forget all the fears

So live life today
as if it were your last
for life is to short
to be thinking about the past

Love
Becky

LOOK TO THE STARS

2009-04-08T13:25:00.001-05:00

This morning when I was on my way to work...in the early wee hours....I glanced at the sky and there were sooo many bright shining stars. It was so beautiful this morning. It made me think of a poem that I wrote awhile back.

LOOK TO THE STARS
As I sit here
staring at the dark sky
feelings of lonliness & loss
bring tears to my eyes

For when I stare
at the heavens above
I search for the souls
of the ones I love

For each of the stars
has a soul
and every star
has its own personal goal

They are there to watch over us
they are there when we're alone
I search for the brightest star
and wish that he could come home

For all who have lost a loved one
just look toward the sky
and when you see it twinkle
they are just saying hi

Becky